Senior Editor
11.18.09 17 Comments

Commercial director Carl Rinsch (you can see couple examples of his work below), who was once attached the Alien prequel, has been hired to direct 47 Ronin, a Keanu Reeves samurai movie.

Actioner “47 Ronin” tells the famous fact-based story of a band of samurai swordsmen who avenge the death of their master in 18th century Japan. The Chris Morgan (“Wanted”) script was tailored so that the half-Asian Reeves can play one of the swordsmen. The picture mixes the fantastical elements of films like “The Lord of the Rings” with battle scenes of the sort found in “Gladiator” and “300.”  [Variety]

Uh, hello?  Keanu Reeves is not half-Asian.  At the most he’s a quarter.  His mother is English and his father is Hawaiian and Chinese and named “Reeves”.  Pff, these Variety idiots act like they’ve never read a Tiger Beat.  (It’s called “Tiger Beat” because as soon as I open it I start pawing at my junk).  Anyway, Hollywood samurai movies are always great because since Japan was completely closed to the outside world from 1639 – 1854, they always have to come up with a really cool reason for why a famous white guy like Keanu Reeves or Tom Cruise is there. And Keanu Reeves can play a great samurai.  Samurai, KGB agent, caveman, one of those Buckingham palace guards — pretty much anyone who’s face doesn’t move much.   I have a Bell’s Palsy script I’m trying to get him to read.

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