Every couple nanoseconds or so, some millionaire celebrity announces that they’re going to take ‘time off’ to focus on ‘building themselves’/doing Soul Cycle in a cave or something. Last month, it was Anne Hathaway, and this week brings us somebody’s favorite, Kristen Stewart. In an interview with USA Today, the actress explained that’s she’s going to be “taking some time off” after “working for two years.”
“I’m an actor and that’s my art form, and because I started that so young, I’ve always felt intimidated and insufficient when I think about other forms of art I want to create. I’m going to take so much time off . . . I’m going to buy a live-work space in downtown LA and I’m going to make some (stuff) with my hands. Literally, I made that decision a few weeks ago. I’m making a short film. I’m making a bunch of (stuff). I don’t know how I’ll put it out. But I’m not going to hold it so preciously close to me. I write all the time.”
To be honest, I can’t really remember anything Stewart’s done in the past two years, besides write a love poem about whiffle balls and star in some story about war and feces (Camp X-Ray, in limited release). But according to Stewart, she’s been featured in seven back-to-back films, just since 2012. The movies were carefully selected, because – according to Stewart – “I’m definitely not one to get on a soapbox about things I care about,” which is the euphemistic equivalent of, “I have no thoughts or feelings.”
Whatever, good for her! She’s 24 years old. And I, like all of us, am always amazed to see the wide breadth of reactions in the comments section. You’re sad that’s she’s disappearing? I’m confused. Is Kristen Stewart your mother? Are you friends? You’re angry at how entitled she sounds? Listen, if I ever made more than $7 a year I would gladly race into immediate retirement and spend the rest of my life eating cereal in bed with the air conditioner on. So she’s retiring. To make a bunch of stuff. Will it be good? Bad? I guarantee you it’ll be irrelevant for her, and way too important for the rest of us.