Oh, Twitter, bringing people together one child-like missive at a time. So late Christmas night, A/V Club critic Scott Tobias sent out a fairly innocuous tweet, saying “Explaining to relatives why I hate THE HELP precisely as awkward as explaining why I hated THE BLIND SIDE.” (I had a similar experience, but that’s another story). A few hours later, Tobias was met with a response Tweet from Leigh Anne Tuohy, the actual person who Sandra Bullock’s Blind Side character was based on, who apparently sits around Googling “The Blind Side” when she’s not busy running pass-blocking clinics.
@scott_tobias Dont b a hater But if u must then hate cancer, homelessness, war, poverty, child abuse, animal cruelty but a movie. #sadforyou
Ugh. Matt Ufford had a nice piece about “#FirstWorldProblems” people a while back, who are a close cousin to “SHOULDN’T YOU BE MORE CONCERNED ABOUT CANCER?!” people. Yeah, that’s the easy way to get out of criticism, just bring up muscular dystrophy and Darfur. If it were up to these people, Twitter would be 10 million people tweeting “u kno wat i h8? animal cruelty and war!” and another 10 million @ replying “u go gurl!” So, basically, an exchange between P Diddy and his followers.
@LeighAnneTuohy Okay, I like the movie more than cancer. And slightly more than homelessness.
Well played, sir.
@scott_tobias very good. I worried about you all night. This has made my day, now go out today and make a difference
Jeez, I hope she’s kidding. Earnestness gives me heartburn. Especially earnestness of that intensity. Meanwhile, throughout it all, Michael Oher didn’t show up to come to her defense even once. It’s strange, considering he scored in the 98th percentile in Protective Instincts. They test for that.
Related rant: Have you noticed almost every sports movie has some asinine, reductive slogan that turns the tide of the big game? “PRETEND THE QUARTERBACK IS YOUR FAMILY, MICHAEL!” Even in Win Win, which was otherwise decent, there was a scene where the coach is asking the wrestler kid how he does a certain move, and the kid’s like, “Well I just pretend the other guy’s trying to drown me, and I do whatever the f*ck I can to get out of it!” Yes, that’s the key to victory. I get the feeling screenwriters just assume athletes are idiots who never talk proper technique or strategy, and that the key to winning any sporting match is just finding the proper metaphor. “PRETEND THE BASKET IS YOUR CANCER-STRICKEN GRANDMOTHER’S MOUTH, LEBRON! NOW FEED YOUR DYING GRANDMA, LEBRON! JAM THE SUSTENANCE BALLS IN HER CANCER MOUTH!”