Let’s just get this part out of the way at the beginning: this story sounds WAAAY too good to be true, but it’s also too good not to share, and here we are. So maybe it’s true, or maybe someone just outdid Burnsy at his own HOTT GOSS game.
The story goes that Madonna was at a New York Film Festival screening of 12 Years a Slave, where she was texting the whole time, and then got indignant when told to stop. I mean, it does sound like something Madonna would do.
The news originated from this Facebook post by film critic Charles Taylor, who passed along the following anecdote from a former student:
Tonight at the New York Film Festival premiere of ’12 Years A Slave’ (a masterpiece, by the way), I sat behind the unholy trifecta of Jason Ritter, J. Alexander from ‘America’s Next Top Model,’ and Michael K. Williams from ‘The Wire.’ Plus, a mysterious blonde in black lace gloves who wouldn’t stop texting on her Blackberry throughout the first half of the movie. Eventually, a woman next to me tapped her on the shoulder and told her to put her phone away, and the blonde hissed back, ‘It’s for business… ENSLAVER!’ I turned to the shoulder tapper and loudly said, ‘THANKS!’ and gave her a thumbs up. The rest of the movie, I kept thinking about how I wanted to tell the blonde what a disgrace she was. During the standing ovation, the blonde ducked out and Jason Ritter turned around to make commiserating eye contact, as J. Alexander asked, ‘Who WAS that?!’ Jason then looked down at the floor. His eyes got wide, and he picked up an envelope and showed it to us and J. And it said: ‘2 screening tix MADONNA.’ And sure enough, we looked to the side of the theater and standing against the wall in black lace gloves was Madonna. The worst person in America.
Again, the idea that Madonna would call someone “enslaver” to justify texting through a horribly-depressing film about the horrors of slavery seems way too good to be true. What would she have said at Captain Phillips? “Don’t hijack me, bro!”
That said, a person would have to a human randomization program to invent the combination of Jason Ritter, J. Alexander, and Michael K. Williams. Who knows, maybe Madonna really has become a cross between an unruly sitcom brat and Cruella Deville.