Marky Mark slaps people with his Boogie Nights penis

Senior Editor
09.21.10 16 Comments

While here in the states, we’re gearing up for Mark Wahlberg’s probably Oscar-winning performance in The Fighter, aka Boogie Fights, opening in December, our backward cousins across the pond are only just now premiering The Other Guys, probably between powdering their wigs and weaving merkins for their sheep.  In what promises to be the most important news story of the day, during his Other Guys press rounds, Marky Mark revealed to British reporters that he us vandammewahlberg ed to slap his friends in the face with the prosthetic penis he wore in Boogie Nights.

The former undercrackers model [‘undercrackers’? ‘UNDERCRACKERS??!’ Okay, now you’re just inventing fake slang to F with us.] played a porn star in the 1997 movie and famously revealed the oversized manhood in the film’s final scene.
Now The Other Guys star has confessed that he pinched the 13 inch prosthetic penis from the set and used it to shock his mates.
He said: “I used to keep it in my desk drawer. And I’d take it out and slap my friends in the face with it.
“I don’t keep many things from my movies, but that just seemed to have personal significance.” [TheSun]

Hey, Mahky, stawp hittin’ me with yoah wienah, wouldja?  Ya almost spilled my chowdah!  I mean heah I am, watchin’ da Sawx, tryna eat some chowdah, and this hahd on keeps hittin me wit his fake wienah.  What is yoah prawblem?  I don’t like ya fake cawk, Mahky! GET THAT IN YOAH HEAD!

Anyway, I think the important thing to remember here, ladies, is that the penis was a prosthetic, and in no way representative of real life.  In fact, according to my research, the Boogie Nights prosthesis was actually four to seven times bigger than the largest recorded penis size in human science.  FACT.

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