Marky Mark issues fake apology for solving 9/11

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01.18.12 34 Comments

Marky Mark offers his personal hanky to any queahs who may have been offended

When you publicly imply that passengers on the planes during 9/11 were lazy pussies and you could’ve done better like Mark Wahlberg did, people tend to complain. Who knew 9/11 was such a sensitive subject? Predictably, he’s issued a public apology, or at least his publicist has.

“To speculate about such a situation is ridiculous to begin with, and to suggest I would have done anything differently than the passengers on that plane was irresponsible.  I deeply apologize to the families of the victims that my answer came off as insensitive, it was certainly not my intention.” [Source]

Wahlberg later added, “I feel their pain. I feel it, feel it.” Anyway, that was boring and expected, and while we await his apology for also lying about not masturbating, BK has designed a shirt featuring Mark Wahlberg as a cheeseburger ordering a “numbah one cawmbo meal.” Which, as we all know, is a knuckle sangwich and medium punch. POW! DOAHCHESTA FA EVAH!

It’s glawrious.

[via Skreened]

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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