[Warning: Downton Abbey spoilers ahead… if you have only seen the first two season. But you really should watch the others. They’re great.]
When Hollywood comes-a-calling, sometimes it’s best to just put your phone on airplane mode and go about your business. Unfortunately, most actors can’t seem to resist the siren song of Hollywood, even when the song is, like, suuuuuper sh*tty. And that’s the feeling I get when I watch this trailer for The Guest, starring Dan Stevens (AKA Matthew Crawley, lawyer from Manchester turned heir to Downton Abbey/son-in-law to the Earl of Grantham.) I get the feeling that Dan Stevens looked at the script and said (in his finest American accent, hitting all those hard American ‘R’s) “Yippy Key-EY, Moth-ER Fuh-KER,” and off to America he went, with his cowboy hat and nacho cheese to film a B-action movie that pretty much no one is going to see. But that’s not his fault. This film has all the elements of something that could be a smash hit in America. Just listen to Cindy Davis’s description on Pajiba:
Adam Wingard’s… thriller stars Stevens as David, a friend who shows up at the home of a fallen soldier, claiming to be the dead man’s friend — and doing unrequested violent “favors.” Of course, David probably isn’t who he says he is…what’s he really up to?
Appeals to the loyalty of the American military? Check! Beating up children half your size? Check! Lance Reddick? Check! Who knows, maybe this will be the sleeper hit of the summer? Probably not. It looks quite forgettable. If only I could be one of the many that is going to forget about this film but, as luck would have it, it looks like I’m going to remember the trailer for The Guest for a long long long time. I just this very moment found out about the sudden death of Robin Williams, in the middle of writing this post. I’m pretty sure this is going to be one of those “do you remember where you were” moments and, lucky me, I was in the middle writing about The C*cks*cking Mother F*cking Guest. Thanks Matthew Crawley. Now I’m glad you died in that car accident. (Spoil-ah who gives a f*ck.)