Things have obviously been a little crazy around here this week, what with all of the Gloria Allreds of the Interwebs putting a bounty on Vince’s testicles. That’s why I thought a great way to turn the page and start fresh would be to offer up a little peace treaty to all you intelligent, classy broads out there. In fact, even as our beloved Chodin has been away on assignment on Fire Island, he still found time to whisper in my ear from behind that we should give the ladies some eye candy to show that FilmDrunk isn’t a sexist haven for the web’s derelicts.
With that said, there’s no better way to say, “I respect females” than by giving them a gallery of the upcoming summer’s hottest movie bulges. An action hero isn’t an action hero if he doesn’t have a divine codpiece or some sort of crotchal decoration that screams, “This crotch belongs to a mother f*cking star!” And this summer is full of decorated crotches, so we hope that you ladies – and movie codpiece enthusiast men – enjoy this little trivia challenge that we’ve put together for you.
See if you can score 100 and become a Divine FilmDrunk Crotch Hound…
Pretty tough, right? Hopefully you didn’t cheat and fast forward to this answer key:
1. Captain America
2. X-Men First Class
3. Cars 2
4. Transformers: Dark of the Moon
5. Conan the Barbarian 3D
6. Three Musketeers
7. Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop
9. Cowboys and Aliens
10. The Smurfs
11. Fast 5
13. Green Lantern
14. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
15. Hangover 2
16. Kung Fu Panda 2
17. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 2
18. Haha, yo girl, dat ain’t no movie crotch, dat be C-Tates wit a chicken, boo.