The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug trailer is a feast of serious voices

The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug released its second trailer today, bringing back Orlando Bloom and adding Evangeline Lilly from Lost for another one of Peter Jackson’s GRAVELY IMPORTANT DIALOG contests, opening in December. According to Peter Jackson’s video blogs, the dragon’s name is pronounced “Smowg,” which annoys the hell out of me for some reason. Maybe it’s a German dragon? I don’t know. All I know is, Benedict Cumberbatch provides the voice, so the dragon will probably be a hit with all the ladies. Plus he’s rich. He’ll need to breathe fire just to dry out all those panties.

So let me get this straight, the main dwarf guy (Thorin, played by Richard Armitage) is still giving Bilbo crap for slowing down the expedition and not being part of the gang? Even after they ate all his food and treated him like shit for three hours and he saved their lives anyway? Wasn’t that the thing they resolved in the entire previous movie? See, that’s what I hate about these movies, there’s no progression. You could watch 15 hours of them and the story would still be right back where it started, with some guy in bad make up whining about his dead ancestors and giving you some shpiel about good and evil.

But hey, at least Bilbo fights a giant spider in the third act.

Opens December 13th.

×