Nick Nolte narrowly escaped a fire that caused $1.5 million worth of damage at his Malibu home yesterday. The blaze grew, I imagine, when an angry Nolte hurled a snifter of Wild Turkey at the hibachi flames which devoured his favorite backscratcher.
The only injuries the 67-year-old actor sustained were smoke inhalation and a scrape to his arm, but he did not go to hospital for treatment.
The electrical fire started in the living room, said fire Inspector Frank Garrido.
Nolte smelt smoke from upstairs and broke a window to escape before tackling the blaze. [And then punching it in the mouth -Ed.]
“Nick Nolte was there apparently with a water hose trying to extinguish the fire himself and of course we came to help him out,” said Inspector James Barnes of the Los Angeles fire department. Damage was caused to the structure and contents of the house, but the building was not destroyed, he added. [BBC]
And if he wasn’t in his underwear that whole time I will drink my own piss. My sources also tell me the fire consumed a priceless collection of showbiz memorabilia and bar coasters, but was contained before it could take Terrence, the stuffed armadillo Nolte stabbed to death behind a saloon outside Odessa.