Other than being born rich and living a care-free private college life in which family fame and money can fund his every whim, it seems like Chet Haze can’t catch a break. Just months after the internet discovered
Basketball Coach we’re measuring for a straitjacket: Kansas State’s Frank Martin.
Best College Sports Bar: The Swamp Restaurant in Gainesville, FL.
Best College Sports Fan: Wild Bill of Utah State.
Best Late-Night Eats: Capicola-and-cheese sandwich from Primanti Brothers, just off the Pitt campus, with built-in french fries, fried egg and mound of coleslaw.
Best Library: The Library Café and Bar, University of Wisconsin, Madison.
Best Naked Parties: Yale (seriously).
Best Out-of-the-Way Party School: Montana State University.
Coolest Course: University of California, Berkeley’s “The Sociology of Seinfeld.”
Coolest Facebook Campaign: Jay-Z for Commencement Speaker 2011, Middlebury College.
Coolest Radio Station: DePauw’s WGRE 91.5.
Hottest Sorority: San Diego State’s Alpha Phi chapter.
Most Coveted Dorm Room: Suite H33 in Kirkland House, Harvard, where Mark Zuckerberg created Facebook.
Most Delicious Mascot: (Tie) Delta State’s Fighting Okra and the University of North Carolina School of the Arts’ Fighting Pickles.
Most Lucrative Online Degree: None.
New Drink on Campus: 40-proof Adult Chocolate Milk.
Thirstiest Major: University of California, Davis’s viticulture (grape cultivation) and enology (wine study).
Wallet Drainer: Sarah Lawrence, the most expensive college in America ($57,556/year).
Worst College Rapper: Chet Haze of Northwestern (Tom Hanks’s son). [PLAYBOY]
WORST?!? How dare you, Playboy. Y’all is some str8 BRATZ, nah mean? Someone over at Playboy most have something against smoking bleezies and mackin skeezies, and sick flows like “Traffic traffic where’s my chapstick.” Unless we take this to mean that he’s the Best Worst College Rapper, which is undoubtedly true. In related news, today is C-Tates’ birthday. Somebody call up Drexel Spivey from True Romance, tell him it is White Boy Day.