11.03.09 8 years ago 28 Comments

This is the first trailer for the Disney/Jerry Bruckheimer joint, Prince of Persia.  An early version of it leaked online last night and some movie bloggers were having a big fight over whether it’s morally acceptable to post bootleg trailers before the official release from the studio.  To which I say, hey, get over (y)ourselves.  It’s a commercial for a movie, not the polio vaccine.

As for the movie in question, holy God what the hell is this?  I see they’ve reimagined ancient Persia as a land of spray-tanned white people with English accents. Meanwhile, cameras swoop and spin through spatially ambiguous CGI landscapes while Gemma Arterton whispers expository dialog in your ear like she wants to do you.  At least in the 2012 trailer you could kind of tell what was going on (i.e., CALIFORNIA IS GOING DOWN!).  In this one, Jake Gyllenhaal is running from… uh… something… and he dives… sideways?  Up?  Down?  I don’t even know.  Oh, and he’ll be speaking in that British accent the entire movie.  A movie about a magic dagger that… uh… controls time*.  You’ve done it again, Bruckheimer, you amazingly talented genius, you.

[available in better quality over at IGN but I don’t like their embeddable player]

*And that this is also the plot of the video game it’s based on doesn’t make it any less of a stupid idea. It makes it even more of a stupid idea.

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