‘PURTEND THE QB’S YER WHITE MOMMA’

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09.11.09 36 Comments

Sandra Bullock could use some good press after the epic fartbomb that was All About Steve. Luckily she’s in The Blind Side, which just came out with a new poster (below) and trailer (above).  I smell Oscar!  (Oscar’s a hobo, he lost control of his bowels when I showed him this trailer).  Aside from spunky Sandra selflessly teaching a negro to play football (using the patent-pending “pretend the quarterback’s yer new white momma” method), all you really need to know about this movie is summed up in the final exchange of the trailer (accompanied by a John-Mayer-Blunt-Fray song, of course):

“Yer changin’ that boy’s laahfe.”

“No.  He’s changin’ maahne.”

Oh man, I just came so hard, you guys.

“THEES MOVIE SNORKELS JIZZ.” -Roger Ebert  [via CinemaBlend]

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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