RESIDENT EVIL IS BASHFUL

09.19.07 9 years ago 27 Comments

Resident Evil: Extinction is banning media from its nationwide screening this Thursday, according to Screen Gems (whose involvement is the kiss of death anyway).  

I for one think it's because they, like, want the movie to be seen by the fans first, man!  No one ever, like, erected a statue to a critic, man. It's all about the fans! 'Cause fans are the reason people make movies!  We fuckin' love you, Modesto!

Just kidding.  Never in the history of movies has a studio refused to pre-screen a movie because it was really good.  And studios pre-screen shit like Daddy Day Camp and Lady in the Water.  Bottom line, it's going to suck, zombies movies have Fred Dursted, Santa Claus isn't real, and if there is a God, he probably hates you.  Also, Milla Jovovich has a hairy beav (NWS).  But cheer up, there's always suicide.    

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