RESTRICTED BEOWULF TRAILER A TOTAL GYP

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08.24.07 10 Comments

The Beowulf website just added a "restricted content" section.  To get to it, you have to click "restricted content" and then use their age verification software.  The fool-proof software didn't recognize my name or birthday, but if that happens to you, you can just use George Bush, whose birthday is 7-6-1946 and ZIP code is 20500.

I watched the restricted trailer, and I couldn't find anything remotely R-rated about it.  Since they already showed us Angelina's boobs in the international trailer (the mo-cap CGI version of them, anyway), I was hoping in this one we might see some labia or something.  But nope, not even a minora (hee hee, labia menorah).  Anyway, if they ever need someone to do a motion capture of Angelina Jolie's vagina, I'll totally volunteer.

Oh, and did anyone else chuckle at the opening flash sequence of the website ("I'm here to kill your monster.")? 

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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