MY SPIDEY GAYDAR IS TINGLING

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03.30.09 25 Comments

The New York Post today has more information of the ridiculously expensive Spider-Man musical for which U2 wrote the music (as if you needed to know more than that).

The phrase “Broadway musical” doesn’t seem grand enough to convey the size and scope of “Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark,” [Ed Note: ???] which is due to open in New York in January 2010.  Spider-Man, added director Julie Taymor, “is not going to sing and dance in tights.”

Hmm.  It’s a broadway show about a guy who wears tights. How the hell else could it possibly go?

A better description of her show, she suggested, is a “circus rock-‘n’-roll drama.”  [Ahh, our bad] As Spider-Man, Peter clashes with a parade of Marvel villains — Green Goblin, Carnage, Electro, Rhino, Swarm and Lizard.  Berger and Taymor have invented a new baddie for the show — Swiss Miss, whose costume, designed by Oscar winner Eiko Ishioka (“Bram Stoker’s Dracula”), consists of rotating knives and swirling corkscrews.

I know this probably goes without saying, but the decision-making of the folks in charge here really isn’t inspiring much hope. Spider-Man has been around for 47 years now, and yet they decided they needed a new villain, which they promptly named after hot chocolate.  And anyway, if I were naming a Spider-Man villian after sweets (and let’s be clear, I’m not) I would’ve gone with… LORNA DOOM!

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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