Senior Editor
08.10.09 45 Comments

Those five question marks are for the gamers out there who actually care about this stuff, and because the English language doesn’t have punctuation for a dismissive wank (YET).  Anyway, IESB is claiming a triple confirmed sexclusive that Steven Spielberg will be producing a Halo movie, a project last rumored to be stalled with Peter Jackson and Neil Blomkamp.

Spielberg is blown away by writer Stuart Beattie’s take on the game in his script entitled HALO THE FALL OF REACH. This coupled with the fact that his Dreamworks umbrella is looking for a big tent pole to help launch their newly independant studio with distribution over at Walt Disney Pictures after losing Transformers to Paramount in the separation, it’s the perfect combination.

HALO, the wildly popular video games, follow Master Chief, a cybernetically-enhanced human super-soldier, and his artificial intelligence companion, Cortana, as they aide future humanity in battling the Covenant, a theocratic alliance of alien races. [IESB]

“Blown away”, eh?  That’s a pretty strong statement.  But somehow I don’t trust the judgment of a guy who was okay with nuking a fridge, Shia Labeouf swinging through the jungle with an army of monkeys, and pretty much the entire plot of the last Transformers movie.  Not that I blame him.  Steven Spielberg’s style of producing is a lot like mine would be if I were him, the yeah-whatever-dude, I’m-taking-b-loads school of movie producing. Also, Halo?  More like GAYlo. AHAHA, SUCK IT, GAMERS!  (*makes ‘suck it’ x over crotch with hands while thrusting*)

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