Howdy, folks, and welcome to another exciting episode of “What the hell is Sylvester Stallone talking about?” My life has been that much better ever since Sly Stallone got a Twitter account, and my fascination continues today, as Sly writes:
“I would not be in it… It is an modern extension of the heart and philosophy . MMA too.”
Yippee, I love puzzles. Now the question becomes, what the hell is Sly talking about? Is it a workout video? An energy drink? We know the guy is given to some profound, grandiose thoughts — perhaps a book of beat poetry? (Beatdown Poetry! OOH WAH-AH AH-AH!). Sorry, you’re all wrong. But if you said “he’s discussing possibilities for a new Rocky movie,” congratulations, chug three protein shakes and head to the front of the class to collect your Affliction shirt. This was the exchange in chronological order:
THESLYSTALLONE: “The New Rocky… Update it with a young man with modern problems ,but he would not be called Rocky, just the philosophy would be used.”
[to which fan Harasti asks]: @TheSlyStallone “will it be boxing based or mma do to it’s rapid raise in popularity?”
So there you have it. If Stallone were to do another Rocky, it would indeed be MMA-based “do to it is rapid raise in popularity,” but it would also have heart and philosophy. I consider this an important exchange. I’m convinced it’s the modern-day equivalent of Lincoln’s letter to the Widow Bixby (“I humbly write to you today do to mma’s rapid raise in popularity”). Now, while I don’t know about this Rocky business (seems like Sly was just thinking aloud), I will tell you this: I’d pay a lot of money to see the real Sly Stallone in the role of motivator. Some of his other gems:
“The hardest fights I ever have are against myself, and the battles still rage on. Guess what I am implying?”
“If you sometime wake up feeling like a stranger to yourself,like we all do, get reacquainted, you may really learn something new. Push it…”
“Morning world, are we ready to own this day or have it own us?! Racehorse or Plowhorse ?”
YOU HAVE TO GRAB LIFE BY THE THROAT AND SQUEEZE BEFORE IT GRABS YOU BY YOUR NECK AND BREAKS IT. OWN YOUR DESTINY.”
NOW DROP YOUR SOCKS AND GRAB YOUR C*CKS, SCUMBAG! THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO FEAR IS FEAR ITSELF! NOW FEEL THE BURN, OOH-RAH! Hell yeah, I’d follow that guy into battle. He’s like R. Lee Ermey meets Tony Robbins, but more Zen.
UPDATE: Stallone later clarifies that he was only kidding about the Rocky sequel thing, but I’m still dead serious about his Twitter being one of the best things ever. KEEP PUNCHING.