With their 80s and 90s action hero cold war behind them, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger are spending their post-prime years the best way that anyone could have ever hoped for – sort of side-by-side, kicking all sorts of ass, with tongues firmly planted in cheek. Thanks to The Expendables franchise and the tame-but-enjoyable Escape Plan, the former bitter rivals have shared the screen four times since 2010, which is a far cry from the animosity that defined their relationship dating back to the Golden Globes in 1977, at which they shared a table and their feud was born with the success of Rocky. (Read the entire IGN feature, it’s quite entertaining.)
The best part about this newfound BFF relationship between Stallone and Schwarzenegger isn’t necessarily watching them murder other people together on the big screen – it’s like watching our ‘roided up dads play paintball with their rotary club – but instead listening to them tell old stories about how much they really disliked each other. In fact, why there isn’t a documentary in the works is bordering on criminal, but maybe that’s the plan for the day that they can’t pick up comically large rifles anymore and play shoot ‘em up with all their friends. In the meantime, we have to settle for hilarious nuggets like this one from Page Six.
“Did you ever have someone you wanted to strangle every day? It got to the point where we stopped talking to each other and couldn’t be in the same room,” Sly revealed of their ’80s tough-guy enmity. “We came along at the same time, we started to pioneer this action thing — although I was first — and we were so competitive.”
Sly even claims that in a devious attempt to trash his macho career, Arnie tricked him into being in flop comedy “Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot” by starting a rumor that he wanted the movie himself.
Sly admitted in a conversation with journalist Sandro Monetti at Manchester Arena, “I heard Arnold wanted to do that movie and after hearing that, I said I wanted to do it. He tricked me! He’s always been clever.” (Via Page Six)
Jesus, that’s really less about Arnold being clever and more of Sly being a complete f*cking idiot. Feuds can be intense, sure, but if someone came to me and said, “Hey man, Frank Stallone’s starting his own blog about the best GIFs of dogs humping,” I certainly wouldn’t rush to upload the first one. Sometimes the best strategy is not making any move at all, Sly.
Here’s the Siskel & Ebert review of Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, which may be one of the greatest bad movie reviews that these two ever gave…
And no Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot bashing session is complete without this classic Saturday Night Live sketch, featuring Norm MacDonald shredding Stallone’s movies in front of him.
However, I will not stand by and let anyone bash Over the Top or especially Tango and Cash. Those are f*cking masterpieces, damn it.