On Monday night, two men walked into a pet store in Halifax. Their mission was simple: One man would distract the employees by asking ridiculous questions about random animals while the other man would steal a bird. A plan more diabolical I’ve never heard, but these two men were experts and they pulled it off with near-perfect precision. Except, the younger man made one little mistake… he wore his Juggalo sweatshirt.
The man who actually stole the exotic bird, with a street value of $2,600, was caught just two days later, undoubtedly because he’s a gang member that has been targeted by law enforcement organizations as high up as the FBI.
A 29-year-old man has been arrested by Halifax Regional Police patrol and Integrated HRP/RCMP General Investigation Section members in the Bridgewater area. A search warrant was executed at the suspect’s residence in Bridgwater and the parrot from Pets Unlimited was recovered. The male is being charged with theft and possession and is currently in police custody. (Via the Halifax Regional Police)
Meanwhile, the accomplice is still at large, thanks to the fact that he didn’t advertise to everyone that he’s a Juggalo and therefore a member of one of the most devious criminal organizations since the mafia’s golden days. However, if you live in or around Halifax (I think that’s in Canada), keep an eye out for this swarthy criminal description:
The other man is described as being between the ages of 40 and 45, about 200 pounds, with short grey hair. He was a wearing a light blue T-shirt and black vest.
The moral of this story isn’t to make tongue-in-cheek jokes about our good friends, the Juggalos, as much as it is to implore Hollywood to make a movie about an actual team of thieves that also happen to be Juggalos. A lot of weed would be sold so people could afford to see that movie.