I’ve watched the new trailer for Generation Um…, starring Keanu Reeves, several times now, and I’m still not really sure what it’s about, so I’ll direct you to this plot synopsis for help:
“Generation Um…” follows a day in the life of John and his two beautiful cohorts as they live life on the fringe, immersed in sex, drugs and indecision. As they navigate their daily routine of bars, crowds and New York City living, they embark on a path of self-discovery.
And that sounds pretty great, because I think most of us would love to have two beautiful cohorts, whether for doing drugs and making sex around a giant city or simply rubbing a dude’s feet while he slaps together terrible photoshops.
But as I watched the trailer, one question jumped out at me:
“How old are you?”
Seriously, how old is Keanu Reeves?
His bio says that he’s 48-years old, but I call BS on that, because he looks fantastic. As someone who just landed his first crow’s foot, I’d love to know what it takes to age that well. Is it vitamins and exercise? Placenta smoothies? Smegma shakes? Stem cell butt chugging?
Because while the whole “Keanu is Immortal” thing was great for a joke, I’m starting to think it might be serious. Keanu might be a vampire, folks.