This Week In Movie Posters: Fancy Brad Pitt As 1940s James Bond, And More

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10.31.16 32 Comments
allied_ver2

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This week in This Week In Posters, we begin with Allied, starring the two biggest movie stars in the world [citation needed] Brad Pitt and Marion Cotillard. This version of the poster is an improvement over the last one, where Pitt kind of looked like Wayne Newton. But now they’re both carrying guns like some kind of art deco Mr. And Mrs. Smith. I know they’re deep in occupied country during WWII or something, but I dunno, I kind of figured they’d be using, like, their wits, their charm, their cunning and their stunning good looks to survive and stuff. Turns out, nope, it’s that, but also big-ass guns. It makes a sad sort of sense that in a modern homage to Casablanca, everyone has submachine guns. “Here’s lookin’ at you, kid.” [Sprays platoon of Nazis with hip-fired machine gun.]

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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