THIS WEEK IN POSTERS – This Week in Posters & Stills is our weekly round-up (and critique) of all the posters, publicity stills, one-sheets, and set photos that hit in the previous week, a nice little early preview of what’s to come in the movie world. Posted every Wednesday, or as close as we can get. (Like Thursday, which is when we got to it this week).
OLDBOY: One of the big questions surrounding Spike Lee’s remake of Oldboy (trailer here) is how he would handle some of the Korea-specific elements of the plot, like Oh Dae-Su eating live octopus tentacles (spoiler?). This new still (via Collider) gives us a hint. It could be they just settled for this octopus goatse shot and left it at that, but my guess is they left it in, setting be damned. It’s kind of like English movies about Spain or Germany, where in real life the subject would be speaking Spanish or German, but in the movie they settle for English with a Spanish or German accent. On that note, I think Spike Lee’s Oldboy would be amazing if everyone in it had to do a Korean accent.
AFTERSHOCK: You think that guy’s getting busy down there? He’s really Titanicing that wall.
In Chile, a group of travelers who are in an underground nightclub when a massive earthquake hits quickly learn that reaching the surface is just the beginning of their nightmare.
They’re trapped under there… and there’s house music playing THE ENTIRE TIME. (*runs away screaming*)
AFTER MAY: I have no idea what it’s about, but that’s a beautiful poster.
BEARS: Oh Jesus Christ, a baby bear waving at me?
The only thing that could stop me from seeing this is the fact that I live in San Francisco, and it’s dangerous to walk into places with “Bears” on the marquee around here. Dangerously sexy.
BEST MAN DOWN: Great rom-com title, or greatest rom-com title? Also, I feel like Tyler Labine was created in a lab specifically to play the wacky best friend.
A newlywed couple cancels their honeymoon and returns to the snowy Midwest to make the funeral arrangements for their best man, who died unexpectedly after their ceremony.
Labine’s character’s name is “Lumpy,” incidentally.
BLOODLINE: Don’t you EVER steal a dead man’s bling. Hey, at least it’s not a haunted house or a creepy little kid, right? I also like that they copied the horror-movie-with-eyeball-on-the-poster motif visually, but not thematically. I wonder if that was intentional. I wonder a lot of things.
BLUE CAPRICE: I bet you’d be pissed if you meant to see Blue Jasmine and accidentally wandered into this one. Cool poster though.
BUTCHER BOYS: This looks delightful, I can’t wait to take mom.
CRAWL TO ME: This poster is visually intriguing, but I have no idea what the hell is going on in it. Did someone drop their clown platter in the snow?! I hate when that happens.
ESCAPE PLAN (trailer): This looks good, but I’m not sure their guns are big enough. I hope they shoot bigger guns in the movie. Otherwise, what’s the point, you know?
Poor 50 Cent, what’d he do to get left off this poster?
HER: The trailer for this looks so goddamn amazing, and now the poster is pretty fantastic too. Seriously, Megan Ellison, will you take this bro to be your lawfully wedded blogger? I promise to shower and delouse my beard at least once a week, and I can cook you the finest lunchmeats and every flavor of Hot Pocket. Think about it.
HOW I LIVE NOW: Oh good, Saoirse Ronan looks bored and sullen again.
An American girl on holiday in the English countryside with her family finds herself in hiding and fighting for her survival as war breaks out.
Flurb? Sure, why not. I’m much more interested in Ronan’s Mary Queen of Scots project I just stumbled upon on IMDB. Medieval English history is my jam. It’s like Game of Thrones with fewer dragons and more beheadings.
CATCHING FIRE: Here’s a viral poster for Hunger Games: Catching Fire, an ad for Capitol Couture perfume. I think I’d rather see a book of fictional ads from the Hunger Games future world than watch the actual movie. They should sell these. I’d much rather see this on people’s walls than “Chat Noire” or that f*cking monkey everyone has.
CATCHING FIRE: See? The future has cool ads. Lenny Kravitz was perfectly cast in this, by the way. In fact, I think he actually lives in the Hunger Games capital full time.
KELLY AND VICTOR: This movie is “sensual??” Oh thank goodness, sign me up!
MORNING: For a pretty basic cutout-heads-style poster, I have to admit, I stared at this one for a long time. I can’t really explain it.
Five days in the life of an American couple immediately following the accidental death of their child.
Remember when Jeanne Tripplehorn got naked in Waterworld? That was cool.
MOTHER OF GEORGE: Might be a tie between this and Her for this week’s coolest poster. Also, nothing says “I’m trying desperately to sound important!” quite like calling a film a “motion picture” in your review.
MUSCLE SHOALS: This one’s got a real “for a good time, call” motif. Also, is there a cooler name than “Percy Sledge?” Percy is kind of weak on its own, but then you add “Sledge” to it and it becomes awesome. Life is so pie style like that.
PARKLAND: Cool poster, and a ballsy choice not to put any of the big-time actors in the cast in it.
PLUSH: Hahahahahahahahahaha. This is exactly the quality of Photoshopping I’d expect in the poster for a Cam Gigandet poster. Reminds me of this nice bit of post tagging I saw on Uproxx earlier today:
A SINGLE SHOT (trailer): I would think it’s generally a bad thing when people can’t tell the title from the tagline, but what do I know?
THANKS FOR SHARING (trailer): Finally, someone will expose the milquetoast yuppie side of sex addiction. Though I do like the idea that Pink looks so much like a sex addict that they cast her even though she’s not an actress. “What? We just thought you looked like a sex addict is all.”
Taken individually, it kind of just looks like a movie about a low-rent Zorro wanna be.
OLDBOY: Yep, still got the hammer you remember from the original.
And the canted angles and facial hair.