This Week In Posters: Sharks, Male Thigh Gaps, And ‘Dark Tower’

Senior Editor
07.10.17 43 Comments

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Welcome back to This Week In Posters, which begins this week with Emma Stone and Steve Carell in Battle of the Sexes. It feels like God’s finally listening to me as they actually put the names under the corresponding faces this time. And they appear to be going for that indie comedy look with the big yellow text, which always makes me think I’mt looking at a bookend scene from The Royal Tenenbaums. Anyway, I’m excited to see how they’re going to pull off Emma Stone’s transformation in this. One of our finest young actresses, but when I look at her I think less “professional athlete” and more “I’ve never thrown a ball.”

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THERE. WILL. BE. MIXTAPES. That’s what I’m getting from this. Also, my parents taught me where babies came from using this illustrated children’s book from the ’70s, and all that unwound tape ribbon is strikingly reminiscent of the naked hippie cartoons’ pubic hair. Which I suppose is fitting.

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47 Metres Down, that Blake Lively one, and now this. We are truly living in a second golden age of killer shark movies. Is the shark supposed to be coming up through the sea floor, Freddy Krueger-style in this? I suppose that would be a twist. Otherwise it kind of just looks like they took a picture of a shark breaching and Photoshopped it. Whatever, when you’ve got a title like Open Water 3: Cage Dive you don’t need much else.

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Putting two slightly-tilted horizon line images right next to each other really underlines how dumb the slightly-tilted horizon line image trend is. Also, do gunslingers not sweat? A knee-length leather trench seems like it’d be really hot.

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