First the newsy part, as the honchos at Paramount have announced that they’ll be moving the release of the upcoming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot/remake/regurgitation from June 6, 2014 back to August 8,2014. A lot of times, when a movie is moved back like this, it’s not a good sign (See: G.I. Joe: Retaliation), but Paramount is assuring us all that TMNT isn’t being moved back because it sucks turtle balls.
Instead, it’s being moved because Transformers 4 is also coming out on June 27, and they’re worried that us poor folk won’t be able to buy our stupid wiener kids all of the expensive toys from both of the films, according to Deadline. Because, as we all learned in the first day of How to Make Movies class at the University of Cha Ching, it’s not about the quality of the product on the screen as much as it’s about the amount of toys in our kids’ hands.
Meanwhile, /film reminded us on Wednesday of the lesser-known alternate ending of the original 1990 Teenage Mutant Ninjas Turtles film, and if you’ve never seen it before (judging by the 29,000 views you probably haven’t) I suggest watching it and imagining how far back your eyes would have rolled into your shells if you had seen this in the theater.