First up in today’s trailer round up, GI Joe: Retaliation, introduced by Dwayne The Rock Johnson. Can you believe there aren’t any porn actors named “Rock Johnson?” Anyhoo, you may remember this as the film that was wisely postponed for a year (post-pwned, if you will) so that they could add some more C-Tates. Because audiences nowadays, they hear Channing Tatum, your movie better have at least a moderate-to-heavy amount of Channing Tatum, or else some theaters are getting burned down. It’s human nature.
Judging by this trailer, it’s not nearly the movie we’d hoped for based on Burnsy’s storyboards, but I do like the idea that the president hangs out with a random North Korean guy in a black jumpsuit. “Aw, cawmon, meessa praysidane, why you awways bussa my baws?
–
Hey, remember when Dan Rosen emailed me because his sister thought he died? Go ahead, relive the magic of that moment. I still remember it as one of FilmDrunk’s defining moments, along with the angry vanners. Anyway, this is the movie that Dan Rosen directed. So, if you ever wondered what a guy who wrote “you can NOT JOKE ABOUT SOMEONE DYING! it’s never funny…” thinks IS funny, now you know. Answer: Olivia Munn waxing her mustache. The man has a real knack for subtlety. Speaking of which, here’s the poster:
At my house, all the picture frames are tilted. I party that hard. [via JOBlo]
–
Welcome to the Punch stars James McAvoy and Mark Strong, and sounds like an alternate title to Here Comes the Boom. Welcome to Punch, John Carter, Jack Reacher, Zero Dark Thirty… we’re truly living in a golden age of sh*tty titles.
When a notorious criminal is forced to return to London, it gives a detective one last chance to take down the man he’s always been after.
Oi, wot’s aw dis den? Dis looks loike somefin oy’d see on da telly, donnit. I got 30 seconds into this trailer before I got bored and started doing something else.
Finally, here’s Jason Trost of The FP in All Superheroes Must Die, which he also wrote and directed, and which used to be called VS. It opens in January. I’m intrigued, based on that much alone. Also, if a local politician dressed up as Uncle Sam and torched some stuff with a flamethrower in a commercial, I would vote for him every time.