Over the weekend, Hop, the Russell Brand-voiced CGI extravaganza from the director of Alvin and the Chipmunks, grossed an estimated $38.1 million, just beating out Rango for the highest-grossing opening weekend of 2011 so far. You see? THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS, AMERICA.
It just goes to show that kids’ movies are like country music: there is no such thing as too much pandering. But even Hop‘s big win still lagged behind both Alvin and the Chipmunks AND Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel, and even inflated 3D and IMAX ticket prices couldn’t keep overall business from falling 28% below the same weekend last year (which opened Clash of the Titans, Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married Too, and The Last Song). I’d like to say it’s because Hollywood has released virtually nothing but terrible movies this year, but that seems like a preposterous statement on a weekend when a CGI-bunny that sh-ts jelly beans earned forty million dollars, doesn’t it.
Oh, and Sucker Punch? Thanks for asking. It fell almost 70% from last weekend’s already-disappointing opening, earning $6 million for the weekend for $29.9 million total. The movie cost $82 million to make, so if my math serves, the financiers are going to lose “an assload.” Sources say Zack Snyder is so depressed that he’s been angrily chugging vodka straight from the bottle in slow motion while backlit by the moonlight (don’t worry, the four people who saw Sucker Punch will totally get that). Your movie can be really weird or really sh-tty, but not both. …Unless it stars a CGI bunny that sh-ts jelly beans, I guess. Look, we just don’t know anymore, okay?
|4||Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules||$10,200,000 (-57.1%)||$3,219||$38,355,000|
|6||The Lincoln Lawyer||$7,050,000 (-34.4%)||$2,604||$39,637,000|
|7||Sucker Punch||$6,085,000 (-68.1%)||$2,006||$29,876,000|
|10||Battle: Los Angeles||$3,500,000 (-53.8%)||$1,547||$78,466,000|