When you’ve seen Tommy Boy in excess of 50 times like I have, you can remember and quote every scene. But even a casual viewer can probably remember the scene where they hit a deer and put it in the back seat, only to have it wake up and destroy the car. Ahh, the nineties, such a simpler time. Yeah, so, it turns out, almost that exact scene recently played out in Kalamazoo.
Kalamazoo Department of Public Safety Officer David Miller was on routine patrol, around 2:20 a.m. Tuesday, and checking parking lots. He encountered a suspicious person sitting in a parked vehicle behind a hotel in the 3700 block of E. Cork Street.
Officer Miller contacted the male, a Kalamazoo area resident, and the two had a brief discussion.
Miller’s attention was drawn to the trunk area of the vehicle. The man hit the trunk release and said, “I hit a deer, I figured you would want to see it.”
That’s interesting, because “I hit a deer, I figured you would want to see it” is actually listed at number four on my list of “The 10 Best Pick-Up Lines to Use in Kalamazoo.” Also, why was Miller’s attention “drawn to the trunk area of the car?” Was it the thumping sounds and braying?
The vehicle owner claimed to have a dead whitetail deer in the trunk. He said he accidently hit the animal with his car on an outlying area roadway, according to a news release. The man told Miller he intended on utilizing the meat from the road kill to feed his family. “The officer merely wanted to check on the tagging of the deer to make sure it was appropriately tagged with a kill permit or accident permit,” explained KDPS Lt. Stacey Geik.
Because, yeah, I’m sure a dude sitting in a parking lot at 2 am with a deer in his trunk that he planned on eating made sure to file a full report and complete all the relevant paperwork. “Here you go, officer, my ‘Permit to Bag and Eat Roadkill,’ filled out in triplicate.”
Miller cautiously opened the trunk and the deer sprang from the trunk.
“Oh, he’s still alive,” Miller exclaimed as the deer emerged.
The deer jumped to the ground, fell down, got up and then ran to a nearby wooded area.
“He held his ground nicely,” Lt. Giek said of Officer Miller. “So I’m proud of him.”
Yes, there is video.
I don’t know if I would say “sprang” from the trunk. “Tumbled” might be more accurate. Either way, I’m just glad the deer was okay. When Burnsy sent me this story, I asked, “wait, wasn’t that scene in Tommy Boy actually based on something that happened in real life in the first place?” The answer, according to Snopes, is “kinda sorta.” There’s a famous 911 call that had been going around since the seventies (I believe I first heard it in the early nineties on the Bob and Tom Show) in which a man hits a deer, has it wake up in his car, then it bites him in the neck, wrecks his car, and, as he’s calling 911, he has dogs attacking him because he smells like deer. He says, famously, “I need a bambulance.”
Long story short, the call was a joke (and probably the basis for the Tommy Boy scene), but no one’s really sure if the joke call was actually based on something that happened. In any case, I’m very disappointed in the Kalamazoo Police for not calling for a bambulance. The opportunity for a reference that well timed comes along once in a lifetime.
Serious question: Is Kalamazoo a real place?
[WoodTV8]
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Looks like someone doesn’t understand the concept of a drug mule.
Starman returns!
That poor little guys looks delicious.
This kind of thing happens so often here in Packerland that it’s not even news.
Driving on the 10 a couple of weeks ago I saw a pickup pulled over on the side of the road with its hood flipped up onto the windshield. It was like 6 PM too so I was surprised he didn’t cause a huge accident.
Fact Checker says, Deer don’t bray; they bleat. (And grunt, and bellow, and snort-wheeze–but no braying. Donkeys and mules bray.)
I’m pretty sure Kalamazoo is a made up place, like Chattanooga.
Someone get Charlie Kelley, we’re going to need a refresher on Deerlaw.
That is the second scariest thing I’ve ever seen escape from a trunk, it’s runner-up to a naked Chris Pontius.
I’m pretty sure that “Don’t put wild animals in your car” is one of the Transporter’s rules.
One of my grandpa’s buddies put a “dead” deer in his car with the same results. That was in the forties or fifties. Glad to know that some things are timeless.
You can’t make this shit up. Oh wait… I guess you can, and they did.
Michigan might be the new Florida.
I grew up a couple hours away from Kalamazoo. You would think that would be the weirdest city name in the state until you go north and end up in Wick-A-Te-Wah.
Oh, Kalamazoo is real, alright…and spectacular.
So did this end up being the video for QOTSA’s No One Knows?
First off, Kalamazoo is indeed very real. So is Hell, MI. Up here, we generally just call it “Kazoo” or “K-zoo.”
Second, Michigan’s roadkill pickup law requires that you report the deer that you hit. There’s a special tag they give you so that you don’t get arrested for poaching. Our DNR believes itself to be above the law, so you have to take all precautions. Poaching is a felony.
Third, no one who would know what to do with it would put a deer in or on their car without field dressing it. There is just so much wrong here.
But, again, Kalamazoo is a real place, I-75 does have an Exit 69, Big Beaver Road, and we also have a town called Climax.
Roadkill is the best kill. The one I hit in November died instantly and didn’t bleed – neck snapped on impact.
(I didn’t take it – sheriff’s department butchers them and donates the meat to food pantries if you don’t)