Box Office: A Good Weekend for Wolverine is a Great Weekend for Bad 'Claw' Puns

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07.28.13 54 Comments


Hugh Jackman and his torso made entirely out of veiny penises was too sexy for American moviegoers to resist over the weekend, topping the box office with $55 million (our Wolverine review here). Some of the early tracking estimates had it pegged to go as high as $72 million, but those dudes were smoking crack or something. 

The $55 million take was down 35 percent from X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and BoxOfficeMojo notes that attendance-wise, The Wolverine had the smallest opening of the franchise. At the same time, it opened big internationally with $85 million, and cost a relatively cheap $120 million (compared to $225 for Man of Steel or $250 for The Lone Ranger), so probably no one at Fox will be crying into their cocaine piles tonight. And at the very least, Wolverine’s number one status was more than enough for hacky headline writers everywhere to declare that it had “clawed its way to the top,” as you’ll see on the following pages.

Overall, the Top 12 earned an estimated $158.3 million, which is up 25 percent from last year. While overall box office in July 2013 won’t set a new record, it is on track to become the second-highest-grossing month ever with around $1.35 billion. [BoxOfficeMojo]

It seems like every week the box office is either so bad that movies are over or setting all-time records. Weird, right? (High-level analysis, this).

1) The Wolverine Fox $55,000,000

2) The Conjuring WB $22,130,000 Total: $83,867,000

3) Despicable Me 2 Uni. $16,024,000 Total: $306,413,000

4) Turbo Fox $13,325,000 Total: $55,768,000

5) Grown Ups 2 Sony $11,500,000 Total: $101,664,000

6) Red 2 LG/S $9,400,000 Total: $35,074,000

7) Pacific Rim WB $7,540,000 Total: $84,026,000

8) The Heat Fox $6,850,000 Total: $141,245,000

9) R.I.P.D. Uni. $5,857,000 Total: $24,352,000

10) Fruitvale Station Wein. $4,657,000 Total: $6,339,000 [Indiewire]

Fantasy Summer Box Office Standings

I needed Wolverine to open huge, and clearly that did not happen. Now I’m the odds-on favorite for last place. Thanks for nothing, Obama.

Laremy (First overall pick)

1. Iron Man 3 – $175.3

2. Man of Steel $117 million / $225 million budget = 52%, 100 minus 52 = 48.

3. Epic: 33.5

4. Lone Ranger: 29.4

Total: 286.2

Vince (2nd pick):

1. 6 Fast 6 Furious: 97.4

2. Pacific Rim: 38.3

3. The Wolverine: 55

4. We are the Millers (Bomb)

Total: 190.7

Bret (3rd pick)

1. Star Trek 2: 71

2. Despicable Me 2: 82.5

3. Lone Ranger (Bomb): 29m on a 250m budget = 12%, 100 – 12 = 88.

4. After Earth: 27

Total: 268.5

Brendan (4th pick)

1. Man of Steel: 116.6

2. Hangover 3: 41.7

3. The Internship: 18.1

4. The Great Gatsby (Bomb): $51 million on a $105 million budget, which equals 49 percent of budget, subtracted from 100 is 51.

Total: 227.4

Ben (5th):

1. Monsters University: 82

2. Planes

3. World War Z: 66

4. World War Z (Bomb): $66 million on a $190 million budget, equals 34.7 percent of budget, 100 minus 35 equals 65.

Total: 213


All the claw puns are pretty weak, considering saying “wolverine… claws” could be a pun on either the Marvel character or the animal. But I guess it’s better than “Wolverine is a skunk bear at the box office.”








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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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