Weekend Movie Guide: Cowboys & Aliens & Brohawks & Smurfs

Visual pitch for my movie, Cowboys & Aliens & Velociraptors & Predator

MOVIES OPENING THIS WEEK: Cowboys and Aliens, Attack the Block (in select cities), Crazy Stupid Love, The Smurfs. If you don’t want to go through the trouble of reading all the rest of this, let’s put it this way: Attack the Block is the one you want to see, at least until The Guard comes out.

COWBOYS AND ALIENS: Jon Favreau takes a break from Iron Man to film Bourne in the desert with James Bond and Indiana Jones. It has other things boys like as well, like aliens, ‘splosions, and Olivia Wilde. No dinosaurs though. Weak, dude.

RottenTomatoes: 44%

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

Actually, the ampersand in the title is a tad misleading, since the genres never fuse into an extraterrestrial horse opera. A more accurate label would be Cowboys, Then Aliens, Then Cowboys Again, Then a Big Mess of Aliens. There’s no whole, just parts. -Rick Groen, GlobeandMail

Cowboys & Aliens has fun moments, but it’s a plodding entertainment because it mostly tastes like leftovers. -Owen Glieberman, Entertainment Weekly

The movie gets by on the strength of agreeable talent who enjoy playing along and can endure the horse manure and space goo being shovelled. -Pete Howell, Toronto Star

Armchair Assessment: Yeah, it’s pretty stupid.

FUN FACT: Spielberg has produced three movies so far this year (four, if you count I Am Number Four, which came from his company, Dreamworks), all of them about alien invasion (Super 8, Transformers 3, Cowboys & Aliens). Maybe he knows things.

NEXT PAGE: Attack the Block

ATTACK THE BLOCK: Edgar Wright’s buddy Joe Cornish does a British version of Super 8 that doesn’t suck. In other words… ‘s about aliens attackin’ da block, innit, bruv. Trust.

RottenTomatoes: 88%

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

Irreverently funny without ever being spoofy…The one-liners are hilarious, and Cornish has a deft touch at weaving social commentary on urban gentrification into the narrative. – Ian Buckwalter, NPR

“Attack the Block” is the other alien-invasion movie opening today, the lousy one, the one from Britain. In Britain, it’s probably just a regular bad movie, but here – with accents that are barely comprehensible and in-jokes about council flats, not to mention a swerving handheld camera and some of the cheapest effects since “Night of the Lepus” – it’s surprising this thing ever got released. -Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle, quite possibly my least favorite critic in the history of film criticism.

Attack the Block strains somewhat to deliver a climactic moral, but the way it slyly shifts our sympathies to Moses and his crew (at the expense of another species, granted) without overplaying their deprivation puts more serious-minded indies to shame. -Marc Holcomb, Village Voice

Armchair Analysis: Well, here’s the long version. The short version is, while this summer needs another alien invasion flick like Brett Ratner needs another hot pocket, this one’s by far the best of the bunch. Plus it’s got black people with British accents. How do they come up with this stuff?!

NEXT PAGE: The Smurfs

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