Opening Everywhere: Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit, Ride Along, The Nut Job, Devil’s Due
FilmDrunk Suggests: You can read Laremy’s spoiler-laden review of Jack Ryan here, and you can read my review of Ride Along here. As for a suggestion? Maybe add some cardio to your daily routine.
Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 64% critics, 65% audience
Gratuitous Review Quotes:
Branagh runs through all of this efficiently enough, but it feels awfully familiar. – Tom Long, Detroit News
“Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit” comes off as a reasonable facsimile, serviceable but not compelling, something that could pass for the real thing if you’re not looking too hard. – Kenneth Turan, L.A. Times
Armchair Analysis: I hope the next Jack Ryan movie has all of the guys who have played Jack Ryan in the past – Alec Baldwin, Harrison Ford, Ben Affleck, Shaquille O’Neal and Peter Dinklage – teaming up to stop a meteor from crushing Mount Rushmore. That would be a great movie.
Ride Along
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 17% critics, 80% audience
Gratuitous Review Quotes:
Hart’s springy energy and Ice Cube’s deadpan snarl can be amusing, but they can’t compensate for weak material. – Rafer Guzman, Newsday
Ride Along is a film so casual in its conception and execution, it should be titled Drive Thru. – David Hiltbrand, Philadelphia Inquirer
Armchair Analysis: The commercial for this film claims that Kevin Hart is the funniest man on the planet. That’s very interesting.
The Nut Job
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 13% critics, 74% audience
Gratuitous Review Quotes:
Only a multilevel chase sequence involving Surly and some glowing-eyed street rats has any real kinetic excitement, and the supporting characters lack visual distinction. – Adam Nayman, Globe and Mail
“The Nut Job” features muddy-colored and often ugly animation, a plot that feels too stretched out and loaded with details to hold the attention of most children, and more flatulence jokes than anyone deserves. – Miriam Bale, New York Times
Armchair Analysis: An animated film with that kind of critical review score is never a good sign. But your kids don’t know that, so plop them down in front of it and daydream about your college-aged babysitter for two hours.
Devil’s Due
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 26% critics, 55% audience
Gratuitous Review Quotes:
Devlin’s script tips its hand so early on that Devil’s Due lumbers toward a woefully flat, predictable ending, and the unwelcome promise of something truly demonic – sequels. – Chuck Wilson, Village Voice
Offers precious little in the way of real scares or engaging characters, and even less in original ideas. – Andrew Barker, Variety
Armchair Analysis: FARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOISE.