Weekend Movie Guide: Light Your $12 On Fire

"Is this script written in feces?"

Opening Everywhere: New Year’s Eve, The Sitter

Opening Somewhere: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Young Adult… and a few others that you won’t see

FilmDrunk Suggests: I’m really excited for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, but Vince will not shut up about New Year’s Eve. He sent me this email earlier:

“Can you do the Weekend Movie Guide? We camped out for New Year’s Eve tickets all week and we’re about to see it for a third time!”

That guy and his Garry Marshall ensemble films.

Go ahead, pay money for this.

New Year’s Eve

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 5% critics, 66% lonely, Match.com-using audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes

“When his wife’s water breaks, Meyers’s character hails a cab but turns his back briefly, so a stranger jumps in it and takes off. Never seen that one before! Then the movie cuts to Meyers and Biel in a rickshaw. As sight gags go, it’s weak. Also, no woman in labour would get in a rickshaw. Just saying.” – Dave McGinn, Globe and Mail

“As we all link arms and sing ‘Auld Lang Syne’ we hope that somewhere amid the streamers and popping champagne corks director Marshall is making a resolution to stop making these movies. If he gets his hands on St. Patrick’s Day we’re done for.” – Linda Barnard, Toronto Star

Armchair Analysis: If Mila Kunis walks up to me on the street and tells me that she has two tickets to see New Year’s Eve and she really wants me to see it with her, because I’m the most handsome man that she’s ever laid eyes on, and then Emma Stone walks up and tells me that she just absolutely has to see this movie with me and she’s willing to fight Mila to the death for the honor, and they start fighting and rip each other’s clothes off, then they both agree that they’ll both watch the movie with me and I’ll just have to deal with them being completely naked and rubbing against me for warmth, I will see this movie. But I will still talk about how terrible it is after the fact.

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