Wow, this is the place on the calendar where movies go to die. Opening this weekend:
Fool’s Gold – A fool’s errand! Matthew McConnahowthehelldoIspellhisname and Kate Hudson star in a romantic comedy I swear I’ve already seen four or five times. Do. Not. Want.
Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins – Hey look, it’s the black Sweet Home Alabama. I’d rather get high and wave a gun in traffic than see this movie.
The Hottie and the Nottie – I’m not watching a Paris Hilton movie until she makes a snuff film. And even then, it better have Javier Bardem or Daniel Day-Lewis or someone cool in it.
In Bruges – Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson are a pair of hitmen hiding out and having weird encounters in the Belgian city of Bruges. Okay, now this I actually want to see, because Colin Farrell karate chops a midget in the trailer.
Vince Vaughn’s Wild West Comedy Show – Acting out scenes from Swinger’s onstage? Pretty sure I could do that myself at any frat party. And what’s up with this guy‘s voice? I can’t tell if it’s an attempt to be funny or a soft pallet injury, but either way it creeps me out. It’s like he’s trying to talk while keeping his tongue pinned to the roof of his mouth.
The Band’s Visit – An Egyptian band gets lost in backwater Israel. It kinda want to see it, but I also hate foreigners. What to do!