Senior Editor
02.08.08 189 Comments

Wow, this is the place on the calendar where movies go to die.  Opening this weekend:

Fool’s Gold – A fool’s errand!  Matthew McConnahowthehelldoIspellhisname and Kate Hudson star in a romantic comedy I swear I’ve already seen four or five times.  Do. Not. Want.

Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins – Hey look, it’s the black Sweet Home Alabama.  I’d rather get high and wave a gun in traffic than see this movie.

The Hottie and the Nottie – I’m not watching a Paris Hilton movie until she makes a snuff film.  And even then, it better have Javier Bardem or Daniel Day-Lewis or someone cool in it. 

In Bruges – Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson are a pair of hitmen hiding out and having weird encounters in the Belgian city of Bruges.  Okay, now this I actually want to see, because Colin Farrell karate chops a midget in the trailer.

Vince Vaughn’s Wild West Comedy Show – Acting out scenes from Swinger’s onstage?  Pretty sure I could do that myself at any frat party.  And what’s up with this guy‘s voice?  I can’t tell if it’s an attempt to be funny or a soft pallet injury, but either way it creeps me out.  It’s like he’s trying to talk while keeping his tongue pinned to the roof of his mouth.

The Band’s Visit – An Egyptian band gets lost in backwater Israel.  It kinda want to see it, but I also hate foreigners.  What to do! 

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