Hey Warner Bros., quick, I think I see one last memento from my childhood that you can desecrate! In what could very well be the most frightening production ever, the studio is looking to bring a live-action Pinocchio to the big screen. The script is being penned by Bryan Fuller and produced through Dan Jinks (American Beauty, Big Fish, Milk). What’s that you say? There’s already been multiple live-action versions of Pinocchio? Oh, you hush your dirty little slut mouth, Hollywood doesn’t want to hear your sensical logic.
Do elaborate, won’t you Variety:
Jinks told Daily Variety that he was inspired by Tim Burton’s “Alice in Wonderland” to begin work on a new version of “Pinocchio.” “I think we’ve found a fresh approach that’s going to be very entertaining,” he added.
Wait, so what you’re telling me is that a producer was watching a Disney movie, which was already a live-action version of a Disney cartoon, and then got the foresight to do a Pinocchio project? Simply amazing, I can’t imagine what other projects he has floating around inside that brain. Hopefully this soothsayer has an ace up his sleeve, because we all know there will ever only be one true live-action Pinocchio and his name shall remain Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Godspeed, Randy Taylor from Home Improvement.
Well of course I’ve included Siskel & Ebert’s review of 1996’s The Adventures Of Pinocchio after the jump. What do I look like -some kind of savage?