‘Wet Dream on Elm Street’ looks good

Senior Editor
07.19.11 18 Comments

I just got the first teaser image from Evolution Distribution and Tom Byron Pictures‘s upcoming title, Wet Dream on Elm Street, from director Lee Roy Meyers. I love that they finally broke from the “This Ain’t ___ XXX” title convention, because come on, who can’t take five minutes to come up with a clever sex pun? Not to mention, Hollywood could really learn a thing or two from an effect teaser image like this one. A picture is worth a thousand sperm. More, even.

Production has commenced for the XXX horror parody starring Sophie See, Gracie Glam, Charley Chase, Mishka, Chad Alva, Chris Johnson…and Anthony Rosano as “Freddy Fingers”!  “When we made ‘The Human Sexipede’, we realized people went nuts for a parody that was different,” says director Lee Roy Myers.  “’A Wet Dream on Elm Street’ is just that.  It’ll be funny, sexy, dark and very, very different.  This is the porn parody that I always wanted to do…Freddy, with dildos on his fingers!”

“Mama! Ever since we come-a to this-a country, Guiseppe have a dream! A dream-a to make-a the movie about-a the Freddy Kreuger with-a the dildo onna his-a finger! And now, she’s all-a come-a true! Papa, he would-a been a-so happy!” (*kisses fingers*) Aw, I love you, porn press releases.

When patrons of the local sex shop receive defective sex toys they decide to retaliate by burning the shop to the ground and killing the late-night clerk, Freddy.  However, every extreme over-reaction has an equal and outrageous re-reaction, leaving Elm Street and its sexy inhabitants in a sticky situation.

Hmmm, they seem to be implying something that involves sperm, but they’re not usually this subtle. Curious.

The charred and bizarre clerk is back…and he’s horny!

Of course.

Freddy is haunting the dreams of his murderers, causing girls to scream in fear and satisfaction as he shows them just why his nickname is “Freddy Fingers”.  When the hot, young women of Elm Street go to bed, Freddy gives them wet dreams they will never forget…or wake up from!

Whoa, that ended on a dark note. They never wake up from the dreams? So they’re dead? So this movie is about necrophilia now? That was a bold choice. Maybe if the Nightmare on Elm Street remake had a little of this thinking, it wouldn’t have been so boring.

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