Say what you want about Vivid Entertainment and the porn company’s love of “leaked” celebrity sex tapes, but at least founder Steven Hirsch likes to give famous people a heads up. In a recent press release, Vivid’s honcho revealed his Top 10 “wish list” for new celebrity sex tapes, and Hirsch is nothing if not ambitious. His top couple? George and Amal Clooney, obviously.
“George and Amal quickly gained our favor as the world’s hottest couple with the speed of their romance and sheer glamour of their Italian wedding. We’re confident that a sex tape starring this couple would be an instant international best seller,” said Steven Hirsch, founder/co-chairman of the adult industry’s most prominent company. “But the Jennifer/Chris and Miley/Patrick duos remind us how exciting and fun sex can be.”
This year’s list features plenty of newcomers, but all of them are legitimate celebrity couples. It’s not just a mishmash of random names, which is obviously bad news for those of us hoping that Harry Styles and Oprah will finally get together. Without further ado, here is Vivid’s 2015 Celebrity Sex Tape Wish List:
1. Amal Alamuddin and George Clooney
2. Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin
3. Miley Cyrus and Patrick Schwarzenegger
4. Sofia Vergara and Joe Mangianello [sic]
5. Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds
6. Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield
7. Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis
8. Amber Heard and Johnny Depp
9. Behati Prinsloo and Adam Levine
10. Charlize Theron and Sean Penn
You’re probably thinking, “Come on, Vivid, there are hotter and more powerful celebrity couples than those. What’s the deal?” Well, when it comes to the most powerful and hottest couples in show business, some have just been in such high demand for so long, at least by the folks at Vivid, that they’ve achieved “Classic Sex Tape Couples” status. Who said a lifetime achievement award was the ultimate honor?
1. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt
2. Beyoncé and Jay Z
3. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West
4. Jennifer Biel and Justin Timberlake
5. Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux
Obviously, these “wish lists” are hilariously unrealistic, but at least Vivid included Kim Kardashian’s name to give them a little credibility.