The above collection of phone messages has been going around "Hollywood" because the guy who left them claims to be a screenwriter. It showed up on DeadlineHollywoodDaily earlier today but has since been removed. In any case, the story behind it is supposedly that a woman was out with her friends in the Marina District of San Francisco (striped-shirted douche central, if you’ve never been there) when a guy asked for her phone number. She gave him her business card and he proceeded to leave the messages above in which he:
– Mentions the screenplay he’s writing
– Claims to "get approached by women" ten times a day
– Describes her as an "elegant woman"
– Leaves a second message a few days later, "I don’t play that game. I know your friends tell you not to return calls, you’re playing games like you see on stupid TV shows. But here’s how it’s going to work…"
– "I’m giving you the three o’clock deadline. I don’t hear from you, you lose my number."
– "Now I understand if you’ve got other issues: Like, maybe you’re not playing games… Maybe you were abused in childhood, maybe your mom has cancer and she’s going through chemo, maybe you have an anxiety disorder…"
Anyway, it’s worth a listen, and guys, take notes because this guy is a real smooth talker. Laugh all you want, this method really works. In fact, sometimes I walk right into the bar and say to everyone within earshot, "Maybe your mom has cancer." Next thing you know, BAM! Knee deep in poontang.