Here’s Black Eye Peas founder and Wolverine cast member Will.i.am, on his way to an arm-wrestling competition after a long day working on the docks (I assume). He recently did an interview with Elle, where he discussed his
Another pet peeve is wet sinks.
ELLE: Wet sinks?
W: Yeah, like a wet sink. You don’t wipe the sink after you use it? Dry it off! And if she’s got only dry toilet paper and no baby wipes next to the toilet. You ain’t got no baby wipes?
ELLE: I’ve heard about this particular deal breaker before. Why is that a big deal to you?
W: Here’s proof on why people should have baby wipes. Get some chocolate, wipe it on a wooden floor, and then try to get it up with some dry towels. You’re going to get chocolate in the cracks. That’s why you gotta get them baby wipes. [Elle]
You heard it here, folks, Will.i.am poops chocolate. I like to imagine Will.i.am trekking up a tall, fog-shrouded mountain in the Tibetan highlands, seeking the legendary wisdom of Sheik Terrence Howard, who would eventually validates the pilgrimage by recounting the parable of the chocolate on the hardwood floor.
“I’ve come seeking guidance, Sensei. Can you teach me how to get the women to use the baby wipes?”
“Of course, William-san. But first, you clean chocolate off floor.”
“But, Sensei, how does cleaning chocolate off the floor teach–“
“Wax on, wax off.”
“…you are most wise, Sensei.”