And now, from the That’s-Not-What-I-Heard files comes a story from actress Lucy Punch, who reportedly learned the hard way what constitutes proper behavior on the set of a Woody Allen film. Woody Allen films aren’t ‘Nam, Lucy, there are rules. (*cough*) FRIDAY IS NO-PANTIES DAY! (*cough, cough*)
“When I first met Woody [on the set of You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger], I was in full costume and I went up to him and was very excited to meet him and gave him this huge hug,” she told us. “And he went completely silent and totally stiff. And I was like, ‘What have I done? I’m going to get fired.’ And everyone’s like, ‘You don’t touch Woody.’ I was less demonstrative for the rest of the shoot.” [NY Mag]
Hmmm, ‘you don’t touch Woody…’ (*puts on Carnac the Magnificent turban, holds envelope up to forehead*) What is… the one thing no one ever taught you on the casting couch? (*pantomimes golf swing, rocks back on heels, looks over to see if Kevin Eubanks is laughing*)
Sub-joke: 32 years old and she’s only just now learning that the woody goes stiff when you touch it? …Clearly you’re not his stepdaughter.
Thanks, folks, I’ll be here all week. Try the veal, and don’t forget to tip Chodin’s sister. (*cartwheels off stage*)