With Magic Mike officially becoming Channing Tatum’s third $100 million movie of 2012, Hollywood’s newest A-lister has been understandably busy these past few weeks (notably, winning the gold in Competitive Twerking). That’s why I was a little disheartened that I hadn’t received any exclusive White House Down storyboards from my exclusive top secret source, especially with the movie being fast-tracked and filming beginning this month.
This morning, my source assured me that storyboards are being drawn up like hot steps, er, I mean hot cakes, and in his own words:
Yo son, so we added some James Woods up in dis mix, right? And like Maggie G-Spots got da titties like PAPOW! n I B like, brown bag dat lunch n yo face, right?
Today’s storyboard is actually Part 1 of what I’m being told is a 3-part series of a very pivotal turning point in the middle of the film (White House Down currently has a running time of 12 hours and 6 minutes). Apparently Col. Ackbar Muslim finds a way to turn American people into zombies and Agent Cole “Snoop” Baretta not only has to find a cure for the zombie virus, but he also has to defeat the zombie leader.
This will certainly be no easy feat, but thankfully Cole receives some spiritual help from an unlikely place. Without further ado…
SCENE 10 – THE WALKING DEF PT. 1
Featuring C-Tates as Agent Cole “Snoop” Baretta, Jennifer Lawrence as the Crossfit Boo, Chris Brown as the penisless zombie leader, and Notorious BIG and Tupac as themselves via hologram technology.