HUMMERS, GUNS, AND SLUTS: WHAT, NO TIGERS?

09.17.08 9 years ago 40 Comments

A few days ago, along with an exclusive look at the script, I reported that Vin Diesel would be coming back for a third xXx movie.  More recently, a /Film reader discovered the short film above, a special feature from the director’s cut DVD (yes, apparently xXx has a director’s cut DVD) called The Death of Xander Cage.

It’s meant to tie up loose ends between the first and second movie (in which Ice Cube plays the lead) by explaining how Xander Cage dies.  The best part is that they shot they entire thing without Vin Diesel (though it’s done so smoothly you can hardly even tell).  Oh, and did I mention the soundtrack is Rammstein?  And that terrorists kidnap a chick wearing garters?  And that when Vin Diesel’s building explodes we know he’s dead because a giant flap of skin from his neck and head (right where he has the xXx tattoo) flies out and lands on the street?  Hummers! Guns! Sluts! Muscle cars! Implants! Techno metal!  …It may be the most brilliantly retarded thing I’ve ever seen.

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