Panera’s New Video Game Is Candy Land For People Who Sneer At Your Burger

Back when Panera debuted its “No-No List,” we took them to task for putting pseudo-science ahead of actual health and real data. Panera heard the criticism and decided to double down. They doubled down so hard they created a “find the chemical” video game that’s unintentionally hilarious.

Really, you can sum the game up with its world-map, pictured up above. If that’s not cutesy enough already, the Land of Clean requires players to go hunting in Baguette Falls and Parmesan Square, among other locations, to find the nasty dirty chemicals polluting Panera’s nice clean food. In other words, you have to go to these carefully staged creations made entire out of food and click on things until you find a few molecules. Then Panera tells you how bad chemicals, some of which naturally occur in your body, are when they turn up in your food; find 15 and you get a coupon!

The team over at Don’t Eat The Psuedoscience has a pretty funny breakdown of just what’s hiding in the Land of “Clean,” including how Panera tried to pretend essential vitamins were “dirty” because they had chemical names. They also point out that eating at Panera isn’t automatically better for you than a Whopperito, as anybody who’s looked longingly at the steak and white cheddar panini before ordering a Sierra Turkey instead can tell you.

Beyond that, though, the whole thing really does come off as a wee bit condescending, like Candy Land for the kind of person who posts nothing but photos of salads and their morning workout to Instagram. The phrase “clean” when associated with food is a problem in the first place, for the implication that other foods are “dirty” when the reality of nutrition and what we need to eat is far more complex. If Panera really wants to help us make healthier choices, it’ll stop focusing on chemicals and cutesy tableaus, and be honest with its customers instead.

(Via Forbes)

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