The last time we checked in with Realistic Mario, the plumber met his end while trying to break blocks with his head and we all got a nice long lecture from the Internet about Mario doesn’t actually use his head to break blocks. A thousand pardons for not actually paying attention to how a sprite managed to retrieve mushrooms and coins from floating blocks.
This time there will be no confusion and there’s no misinformation, Realistic Mario can’t swim. Or he’s unaware of where his pipes actually lead to within the Mushroom Kingdom. I hope that Princess Peach enjoys the inside of a cold castle cell and the feel of leathery skin on her shoulders.
(Via Pete Holmes)