By: 01.07.10  •  11 Comments


If you thought 1987’s Superman IV: The Quest for Peace was the X-Men 3 of Superman movies, you’re more right than you realized*.  Unreality found these two insanely-bad deleted scenes.  How bad?  They turned Bizarro Superman (“Nuclear Man #2”) into a fleshy dude with a spikey mullet who looks like a castmember of Everybody Loves Raymond, or like Larry the Cable Guy back when he was just Dan Whitney.  I’m not intimidated by this Bizarro Superman; I want to sell him a bootleg Member’s Only jacket.  Also watch for Jon Cryer phoning it in (probably while thinking, “I was Duckie, you bastards”) and a fight scene that makes sure you know about Burger King.  And the sound effects.  Holy crap, the sound effects.  Nothing says action flick like a guy noodling on a toy piano while three different CDs of “The 101 Wackiest Sound Effects” play simultaneously in the background.  I haven’t heard a cacophony like this since the last time I kicked a one man band down a hill.

* Superman Returns is the Spider-Man 3 of Superman movies, if you were wondering.

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