“The UZI was a motif in Norse mythology.” — Nobody, ever.
One day after Kenneth Branagh’s Thor comes to theaters, SyFy will be showing Asylum’s mockbuster version of the public domain story. The Almighty Thor will air on SyFy at 9 PM Eastern on May 7th, then release on DVD and video on demand on May 10th, and we’re sure it’s just fantastic since it’s premiering on SyFy. In the film, Loki (Richard Grieco) steals Mjöllnir and attacks New York with dinosaurs or something because why not? Asylum probably already had plenty of low-budget dinosaur CGI still laying around from that Sherlock Holmes movie which also had dinosaurs because why not?
Former WWF Champion Kevin Nash, playing Odin, tells Thor to go punch some lava and make a new hammer and then Thor shoots an UZI at dinosaurs and he space docks hammers with Loki and also Patricia Valasquez is there. This is the greatest synopsis ever. Thor is being played by Cody Deal, whom we pointed out last time is world-famous for such roles as Strip Club Patron (uncredited), Roman Soldier at Caesar’s Palace (uncredited), and Egyptian Guard (uncredited).
The script was written by Eric Forsberg (who is still credited incorrectly on the official website). Fornsberg wrote Mega Piranha, 30000 Leagues Under the Sea [Jules Verne's classic, now with 10,000 more leagues!], Snakes on a Train [yes, a train], and War of the Worlds 2: The Next Wave [I give up]. The WTF trailer is below along with a couple of screencaps: