Mike Fahey decided to put the Build-A-Buddy feature in Kinect Fun Labs to the test. The application allows you to scan the front and back of an object, and then the program’s background removal and finger tracking help you build a 3D avatar you can assign a personality to and then do something vague with that they don’t explain very well. Fahey decided to build a buddy based on his cat, Rande, which you can watch in the first video below. Skip the boring part in the middle where the cat isn’t holding still to be scanned, then scream at the nightmare fuel Kinect Fun creates out of the data it’s able to gather. The horror. The horror.
Then Fahey addressed a rumor about the possibility of inappropriate objects being scanned:
This morning Owen Good told me someone from Microsoft assured him that Kinect Fun Labs’ Build-A-Buddy application had “advanced penis recognition heuristics that will reject the shape”. I decided to test that claim using a purple grape-scented vibrator we just happened to have on hand. What, don’t tell me you people don’t have emergency vibrators in your homes. What if there’s a flood? What will you do then? How would you find it in the dark if it isn’t grape-scented? [Kotaku]
“Advanced penis recognition heuristics”? I’m totally going to a Tennessee public school and letting everybody know, since they can’t say “gay” anymore, they have my blessing to say I have “advanced penis recognition heuristics”.
Anyway, it turns out the Kinect Fun Labs doesn’t discriminate against phallic objects, and Microsoft contacted Fahey to let him know users can scan whatever they want as long as they don’t upload anything to Kinectshare which is deemed inappropriate or in violation of Xbox Live rules. We’re guessing Fahey already knew phallic objects would scan just fine, as evidenced by the second video below. That one may be NSFW on account of a flying purple dildo. But who wants to stay in a workplace where you can’t watch videos of flying purple sparkly dildos? Truly this is the litmus test by which all workplaces should be judged.