So, remember a few days ago when PETA put out a gory Mario parody, “Super Tanooki Skin 2D” and most gamers were like “uhhh, a Tanooki isn’t a real thing guys. Also a lot of kids play the games you’re throwing digital red paint on. This is kind of offensive”?
Well, PETA has responded to the gamer blowback, and it turns out the only person you should be upset with is yourself for not having a sense of humor. After the jump PETA media coordinator Shakira Croce helpfully explains why this whole controversy is actually your fault…
“Mario fans: Relax! PETA’s game was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, a fun way to call attention to a serious issue, that raccoon dogs are skinned alive for their fur. We wish real-life tanukis could fly or swat enemies away with their tails and escape from those who profit from their skins. You can help them by never buying real fur.”
See? It was all just a joke! Although you should still definitely feel terrible about animals being skinned alive. Definitely. Also, apparently the folks at PETA continue to confuse the legendary flying creature Mario’s suit is based on with real-life animals. I could throw Kanye West’s Twitter feed into a food processor and come out with something less garbled than this response.
Listen PETA, it’s time to decide what kind or organization you want to be. You’d never catch a Third World aid organization making a stupid parody game where Kirby eats African kids’ food. You’d never see the American Cancer Society launch an “I’d rather show my tits than not get a mammogram” advertising campaign. Why? Because they realize these kind of publicity stunts can only belittle their cause. PETA’s core message is supposedly “humans and animals are equals, and thus the ethical treatment of animals is a serious issue”, but your own treatment of the issue is anything but serious. It’s a good thing your animal pals can’t talk, because they might have a thing or two to say about your irreverent attitude towards their suffering.
But maybe I’m wrong, maybe stupid parody video games are the way to go and the issue is just that PETA is choosing the wrong games to target. Mario and Cooking Mama are about as inoffensive as games get — if PETA wants to make a stand we’ve got some more suitable games for them to tackle. Hit page two to find out what they are.