It’s barely been a month since the end of “don’t ask, don’t tell” and already the U.S. Military has begun plans for widespread semen sampling. Of course it would be for purely diagnostic purposes. Totally. Come on, what did you think we were talking about?
Pentagon research agency Darpa is developing a system for easily collecting bio-samples from soldiers in the field. The system would involve soldiers “producing a sample” then rubbing it onto a small card, which would preserve the bio-matter so it could be analyzed later. According to Darpa semen would be one of the biomaterials that would work best with the proposed system, which makes sense — it would certainly be less hassle to carry around than a stool sample smeared on a card.
Let’s hope the research pans out, because I can see these turning into a popular item amongst soldiers.
“What? No! I’m just producing a sample! See? I’ve got a biomaterials card with me! If you’ve got something against science, you can go find your own foxhole.”
via Wired