Five Reasons You Shouldn’t Buy a PS Vita

The PS Vita has already come out in Japan, and hits the rest of the world in February. And between now and then, the rest of the world will spend a lot of time hemming and hawing about whether they’ll actually buy the thing.

Here’s the thing, and it’s something we think Sony is going to learn the hard way: Nintendo has managed to turn the 3DS from a disaster to something that at least manages to move units, largely thanks to the way they market their products: people are buying them for their kids left and right.

The PSP has always aimed at an older demographic. But is it worth $250? Or $300 if you want a 3G wireless plan?

The answer is probably, well, no. This is why the PS Vita is the Atari Lynx for a new generation.

#5) It’s Overpriced

Asking as much for a portable game system as an actual console, especially considering the PS Vita’s restrictions, is ridiculous. What’s more, it’s something Nintendo already learned: the 3DS got cut to under $200, and it started moving units right away.

#4) It’s Redundant

Five years ago, this would have been absolutely amazing: a light, powerful device with a touchscreen and swappable 32GB memory cards that used 3G was amazing in 2007.

Which is why we all creamed our jeans when the iPhone came out.

Seriously, what value does the PS Vita have compared to a smartphone? Especially when you can run PS2 games on an iOS or Android platform with ease? We have Windows 6 phones that have all the features of the PS Vita except the buttons, and they came free with a box of cereal.

#3) Sony Is Pulling Its Usual Proprietary Garbage

It just wouldn’t be Sony without some useless, pointless proprietary format that nobody wants and that nobody besides Sony will actually use. But it’s nice to see they’ve caught up with the DS’s technology. Seriously, the only potentially interesting thing about this is the fact that at 32GB, you might be able to put PS3 games on the PS Vita. Not that you will since Sony is charging bloated prices for the cards, which brings us to problem number two…

#2) The Games and The Infrastructure to Play Them Are Highway Robbery

Sony is making a big deal out of downloadable games, but after shelling out $250 for a PS Vita, exactly how much do you want to spend on a memory card? If you want 32GB, that’ll be $100. Oh, and it’s a modern game system: you’ll need one of these whether you want it or not.

Meanwhile, you can expect to pay home console prices for portable games, which raises the question of who, exactly, wants to pay that much money for “Recycled Katamari” or “Nathan Drake Is an Idiot and a Jackass Again”.

#1) It Probably Won’t Last Very Long

It’s baffling that Sony, a company that badly mishandled the PS3, is repeating the same mistakes five years later, but here we are.

Only, unlike the PS3, we’re not sure there’s a way to salvage this.

Portable gaming was, for a long time, the safest area financially. Nintendo was fine not ruling home consoles because the DS was printing money. The PSP may have “lost” the fight for portable dominance, but it still sold 70 million units worldwide.

But that was before the iPhone, and Android, and tablets everywhere. GTA III on iOS is really the death knell for the idea of portable gaming as an indepedent area of consumer electronics: Apple and Google have a lock on it now. Consider the most popular portable game since Tetris is…”Angry Birds”.

The PS Vita is a device from an alternate reality where Apple doesn’t exist and cellphones are still clamshells. And it seems unlikely that it’s going to be able to compete.

So, save your money. Heck, with the money you’re saving, buy a few PS3 games. They’re not portable, but at least you know the console that runs them will still be around.

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