Oh look, a crushing disappointment.
Disney is releasing John Carter on March 9th, so they’re finally showing some clips from the movie which Academy Award-winning director Andrew Stanton said would have to gross $700 million in order to guarantee a sequel. Uh . . . good luck with that.
The film follows John Carter (Taylor Kitsch), a soldier from Virginia who gets his ass to Mars, where he finds himself tangled in some serious space shenanigans with Princess Dejah Thoris (Lynn Collins) and Tars Tarkas (Willem Dafoe). We’ve got some production stills and four clips on the next page.
In the first clip, Carter meets Woola, who is basically his oversized space bulldog (I want one). In the second clip, Carter flees from Warhoons and gets called by his martian name, “Dotar Sojat”. In the third clip Carter and Thoris find out what planet the other is from, and in the fourth clip Carter tries to explain to a green martian who he is and where he’s from and fails. Everybody knows the right way to explain you’re from America is to spit out your chaw, rinse out the tobacco taste with some moonshine, then punch that green alien bastard in the face and say, “These colors don’t run, hoss.” Damn green foreigners trying to take all our space jobs.
Six interviews with the cast available at Bleeding Cool.
[Videos via The John Carter Files and Bleeding Cool. Production stills courtesy of ComingSoon.]
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